You ever wake up from a sleep and realize that you slept in a terrible position?
...well, I slept in a very awkward position on my couch last night and my back and neck are hurting like CRAZY

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For a while now I've wanted a DS Lite , but I was reluctant to get it because of the expense of the product.
I was looking at GameStop's webpage and I read that a new version of this system is $129.99 and a used/refurbished one was still pushing $109.99, and so I looked around on Amazon and all the prices were nearly the same (all the cheap cheap ones were half broken ).

I stopped my pursuit of attaining a DS for a couple of months after I was turned off by the price, but my interest was recently reestablished by a game called Cooking Mama . I looked up more offers on used DS Lites but in the end, I decided to ask my friends and buy one from them if they didn't want theirs (I thought it was most dependable and reliable against online salespeople).

On the very night that I came upon the notion of buying a used DS Lite from a friend, I posted a Facebook status asking people if they wanted to sell me one (the time was around 12:00am). 10 minutes later, a friend of mine, who just so happened to be my neighbor, tells me that he doesn't want his DS Lite and that he was willing to give me his for free (ZOMG)! By around 12:30 I had in my hands a black DS Lite (in great condition), Mario Kart DS, and Pokemon Sapphire! I was so excited but the problem was that my friend didn't know where the charger was... and so on the next day, I went out to GameStop and bought myself a nice charger and along with that, this game:


I know that this game, along with all the other new Pokemon games, will get mixed reviews from the liberal gamers who are open to new things and the strictly conventional gamers who only accept the first 151 Pokemon into their lives  (that USED to be me). When I heard of the new Pokemon games coming out, I said to myself: "Wth... what's up with all these new pokemon? The original is the best. Forget this crap." That notion is long gone my friends... the new generation ROCKS . I'm in love with the adventure this game has and there's so much more to this game now, it's almost unbearable (that's good because it gives me a challenge!). Sure, the OG red, blue, and yellow versions kick butt but how much fun can you possibly juice out of a game that you've beaten so many times? You know exactly where some things are and you know precisely what you need to beat that game, but with this new version (with its 493 pokemon, numerous towns/cities, action-packed battle scenes, 3-D graphics, unprecedented adventures, and other crazy things) you can't possibly get bored and there's always something new. I find the new generation of pokemon quite adaptable and entertaining .

So yeah, I got a free DS Lite, Mario Kart DS, and I bought myself Cooking Mama and Pokemon Platinum.
I'm having fun in school with all this now that we're not doing much at all ; I've played Pokemon in math class for the past two days with my friend John .

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UGH...
Even though I am having fun with my DS, I'm trying to maintain a steady (maybe a little too steady ) pace with my SAT studying and I have a plan mapped out to best prepare myself for the upcoming exam that I'm taking on the first saturday of June ...

The plan is to knock off all the reading by next week and the week after that, the last week before showtime, I'm going to take a timed practice test every day before exam day.

WISH ME LUCK!

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Dear Rubik's Cube I found in my house today,

     I wish I'd never found you.

                                                          
                                                          From,
                                                          Chang

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I need to start working out to become BIG and MUSCULAR.

It's been a while since I've posted anything on Xanga

I guess I'll start with my day... twas an ordinary Monday:

1. wake up feeling like poop
2. go to school right as the late bell rings
3. sit through my normal chemistry and latin classes
4. hope that my english teacher doesn't collect the journals that I've neglected to do
5. enjoy my time in JROTC
6. struggle to stay awake in precalculus and WHAP
7. go to my friend alex's house and chill until my mom picks me up at around 6:30

So that's basically the routine of my weekdays and tomorrow is a pretty special day for me

Tomorrow is the day I get interviewed and evaluated for the position of the battalion commander of my school's JROTC program for next year. For those that don't know, only one cadet per year gets this position and it's the highest position a cadet can get. So yeah, I've been waiting for this opportunity all this year and now that it's come my way, I'm ready to give it my all.

But school's school...

Spiritually...

OK, so when my spiritual life is "good" then everything else falls into place and my life seems to be going well; everything seems right.
But when I don't perform as well as I would like to in my academics, for instance, my spiritual life seems to wither away and the damage is so painful yet surreptitious.
"...painful yet surreptitious?"
I never seem to see how far I've fallen until I reach pit bottom... my apathy always creeps up on me like a spy

The amazing part in all this is that God always has a way to pick me up and get me going again and one of the things that God encourages me with are my friends and their spiritual struggles.

I love listening/reading/hearing about other people and how they're doing because it just reminds me that I'm not the only person in the world with problems. I was reading a passage last week and it was talking about how we should look to each other for encouragement in our spiritual walk with God. I look at my friends pressing on and it just gives me the extra "umph" I need to reach out to God.

Also, I can't get the Finding Nemo illustration that Pastor Joe gave us at the GLO retreat out of my head...
Marlin, the father of Nemo, fought the entire ocean looking for Nemo.
Our father fought the world for us, gave His life, and he won...
How can we sit and do nothing?

I used to have this mentality...
I'd make my life into a "logical" math equation that went sorta like this:
Strong spiritual life with God + Me = Smooth and enjoyable life without problems

Down with that idea... the more I learn the more I see what I can't yet perceive.
The craziest part of that mentality is that I never knew I believed in that... I always denied the fact that I had that mentality...

I know now that God will forever put me through trials to strengthen my relationship with Him and I'm trying so hard to surrender my life to His hands but my pride and selfishness is so intrusive when I try to be good... I feel like Peter

But yeah... that's what has been on my mind and I'm trying to start back up with Xanga but I'll see how that goes :P

Happy Tuesday everyone!

I should be studying but I really need to vent out what's in my noggin.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about college and my future life after school and so far I've been leaning towards the military.

There are five branches to the U.S. Military:
1. Army
2. Navy
3. Marine Corps
4. Coast Guard
5. Air Force

Why the military?
I want to...
-serve the U.S.
-protect my family and friends.
-serve Iraq, Afghanistan, Guam, or any other foreign country. I have a vision to reach out to impoverished people in war and I want to help give troubled people a second chance at life by fighting for them and their freedom. I realize that fighting doesn't mean freedom but people don't deserve to die and suffer because of a tyrannical government/leader. It seems to me that America is all about themselves a lot of times. I was talking with a friend and he mentioned how America always says "God Bless America! God Bless America!" but what about "God bless Iraq!" or "God bless Afghanistan!" ...?

I have these goals and visions but I'm questioning the military in general...
What if I think I'm fighting for justice but I end up becoming a mere pawn/puppet for a tyrannical government? What am I supposed to do if I join the military and realize this too late? I can't just leave or disobey... If I do that I get sentenced to jail and the government will screw my life over.

I'm pretty darn sure the American government isn't some evil killing machine but these are just questions I have to ask myself before committing... to anything. I always have to ask myself questions before committing to something; sometimes I take too long with asking myself questions but that's just me.
Also, if there are abusive people in the government, shouldn't good people stand up to oppose it instead of just sitting and complaining about how it's there?

So yeah, the military has been on my mind lately and if I do join a branch I plan on going into the U.S. Marine Corps or the Air Force.
If I join the Marine Corps I want to become an officer there and if I join the Air Force I'm going to try and become a pilot.

Perhaps I'll work for the government after college.

A couple of months ago my mind was so set on becoming an English teacher or a Journalist but my desires are changing... fast...
I might become an engineer or scientist... either that or like I said, I might study government/politics/foreign relations.
GAH! I'm not sure about what I want to do anymore... I was so sure I wanted to become an English teacher... maybe I'll do that later.
Hmm... I still have a desire to teach though. Who knows where God will lead me?

My dad and I are real close and we talk a lot about colleges and my future life.
OK.
My father's mentality is something like this:
"Whatever you become, I'll support you.
If you really want to become a car technician, fine.
You want to go to the military? I think that's great too."

My dad's always got my back and he's someone I can turn to for guidance/advice/counseling.
Same with my mom but my dad and I got that father to son relationship, ya know?

When I'm with my parents and I meet one of their friends they put on a show about my hair...
"Oh wow! Your hair is so short!" (some of my parents' friends like to feel my head because my hair is so short ... I find it pretty funny ... and soothing )
Anyways, they'll ask me about the military and stuff like that and eventually the topic of dying comes up.
The dire consequences of war, eh?
"What if you get hurt from fighting? What if you die?"

Honestly... half of me completely fears dying and the other half is fearless of it; it's really weird.
If I'm fighting for a purpose... let's say there's an Afghan child trapped in a building that's about to blow up; I wouldn't mind dying for that child. I truly believe that I'd sacrifice my life for something like that.

Let's say however that I'm just boarded onto a cargo truck to be deported to some other town. I don't really know why we're moving, we're just traveling. In that case I'd probably pee my pants scared.
"What if we run over a land mine? If I die right now... all that I ever did back at home... studying... working... building friendships... would that all go to waste? I don't want to die. I want to have kids and see them grow up. I want to live for a long time. Oh God."

Trust me when I say this,
I've gotten over the whole stage where I wanted to join the military to become some epic hero from a movie.

I've come to the conclusion that God freely gave me life and if he chooses to take my life away in a battlefield; he has every right to do so.
I feel like God is nudging me to join the military and I have my own visions but I don't know exactly what God wants me to do if I were to join the armed forces.
I'm going to keep praying about it.

Speaking of prayer...
I need to get back in shape with God. I'm starting to slip again.

That was all military talk.

Let's talk education.

I'm definitely going to college; there's no doubt in that.
I'll most likely attend a military academy (West Point, Marine Military Academy, etc.) and if that doesn't work out I'll go to a regular college with an ROTC scholarship.

SATs this June!
This will be my second SAT and I plan to tear it up this time. I have a studying schedule all mapped out and all I need to do is get enough will power and discipline to work it out; my dad's helping me as well so I should be fine.

School's not that easy either... I'm trying to keep up and it's honestly not THAT bad but it's draining me dry.

WELL... that was a pretty big dump ()

I have a prayer request for anyone who's crazy enough to read down this far:
Pray for me to realize how desperately I need God in my life and how I cannot do anything apart from Him.

Much love,
Chang

P.S.?
I don't what to call this part of the weblog because I'm writing this after I posted the original but here's something else that's been on my mind.
Girls.
ooooooh

I don't know... I'm kinda going through a phase where I want someone to call my own... someone to love...
I was thinking: maybe my desire to love is coming from me not loving Christ (yes, I love God but lately I've been neglecting Him), me not keeping in touch with Him... perhaps the love I'm looking for is in Christ himself (of course I'm not saying Jesus is my girlfriend but I hope you get what I'm trying to say)